The “Tech Bro Purity Test”: How Much of a Silicon Valley Stereotype Are You?

Introduction: Welcome to the Tech Bro Purity Test

Tech bros have become an iconic subculture in the tech industry, particularly in Silicon Valley, representing both the stereotypical successes and quirks of startup culture. From the relentless hustle mentality to an obsession with productivity hacks, the tech bro lifestyle has solidified its own brand. But how deep do you fall into the world of tech bro culture?

Enter the “Tech Bro Purity Test,” a satirical self-assessment inspired by classic purity tests, meant to give you a sense of where you stand in the tech bro universe. Whether you’re just starting in tech or fully immersed, this test will help you find out just how tech-bro you really are.

Section 1: Lifestyle & Habits

1. Have you ever worked out at 5 a.m. in order to “get a head start” on the competition?

Tech bros often start their days early to get a productivity boost, believing the morning hours are key to success.

2. Do you own a standing desk or an ergonomic chair?

Many tech workers obsess over their workspace, seeing it as a way to “optimize” performance.

3.Have you ever fasted for 24 hours or more for productivity reasons?

From intermittent fasting to keto, many in tech use diet as a productivity hack.

4. Do you wear the same type of outfit every day to “avoid decision fatigue”?

Adopting a “uniform” is a common trend, with many tech bros choosing jeans and a T-shirt as their daily uniform.

5. Have you ever paid for a “morning routine coach” or attended a productivity seminar?

Courses on hacking the perfect morning or productivity seminars are surprisingly common among tech bros.

6. Have you ever used the phrase, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead”?

Hustle culture often celebrates sleeplessness as a badge of honor.

Section 2: Financial Investments and Beliefs

7. Have you invested in cryptocurrency?

The belief in crypto as the “future of money” is widespread in tech circles.

8. Do you regularly check your portfolio on a blockchain app?

Staying on top of crypto investments is a frequent tech bro activity.

9. Do you believe in financial independence and retiring by 30 (FIRE movement)?

FIRE, or “Financial Independence, Retire Early,” has become a popular goal for tech workers looking for an early escape.

10. Have you ever day-traded stocks during work hours?

The lure of quick money in tech-heavy stocks is hard to resist for some.

11. Do you believe that “technology is the answer to every problem”?

Optimism about tech solutions is common in this world, often bordering on utopianism.

Section 3: Startup Mentality

12. Have you co-founded a startup, even if it failed?

A classic tech bro rite of passage, failing at a startup is almost as celebrated as succeeding.

13. Do you own or frequently reference “The Lean Startup”?

This book is basically a Bible for those in the startup scene.

14. Have you raised money from angel investors or venture capitalists?

The holy grail for many tech bros is getting seed funding.

15. Do you own equity in a company instead of taking a full salary?

Many are willing to forgo salaries for the potential of a big payout later.

16. Do you follow high-profile entrepreneurs like Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, and Mark Zuckerberg for “inspiration”?

The “gods” of the tech bro world, their lives are studied like case studies.

17. Have you ever pitched an app idea to friends, only to realize there’s a nearly identical app on the market?

Ideas are plentiful, and tech bros often come up with similar solutions to universal problems.

Section 4: Hobbies & Interests

18. Do you play chess or poker to “stay sharp”?

Many tech bros view mental games as another way to stay on top of their game.

19. Have you ever done a 10-day silent meditation retreat?

Tech bros frequently seek mindfulness to manage stress and increase focus.

20. Do you own a high-end VR headset, even if you rarely use it?

Tech enthusiasts love getting their hands on the latest gadgets, even if they aren’t used every day.

21. Are you part of a “biohacking” community?

Biohacking groups experiment with extreme ways to “enhance” their bodies and minds.

22. Do you follow podcasts or YouTube channels by productivity gurus like Tim Ferriss or Naval Ravikant?

These thought leaders offer tips on hacking life, something tech bros are always on the lookout for.

23. Have you ever used a brain-enhancing drug like nootropics?

Smart drugs have gained popularity as ways to stay focused and productive.

Section 5: Gadgets and Gear

24. Do you own a smartphone with a blockchain wallet built-in?

Cryptocurrency enthusiasm often goes hand in hand with gadget enthusiasm.

25. Do you own a coffee maker that you can control via your phone?

Tech bros frequently upgrade everyday items to “smart” versions.

26. Do you track your sleep with a wearable, like an Oura ring?

From monitoring REM cycles to heart rate, tracking is another way to optimize performance.

27. Have you tried a productivity app for scheduling “Pomodoro” sessions?

Using productivity techniques and apps is almost mandatory.

28. Do you have at least one device from brands like Tesla, Apple, or Bose?

These brands often align with the tech bro aesthetic and values.

29. Have you ever tried to automate part of your life with a script?

Automating everyday tasks can be a point of pride.

Section 6: Social Media and Personal Branding

30. Do you actively build a “personal brand” on LinkedIn or Twitter?

Personal branding is almost a second job for many tech bros.

31. Have you shared an Elon Musk or Steve Jobs quote on social media?

Sharing quotes from tech icons is a common way to express alignment with their ethos.

32. Do you publish your “productivity tips” online or in a blog?

Many tech bros see sharing their productivity methods as part of their personal brand.

33. Have you ever made a TikTok or Instagram reel about “day in the life” as a tech worker?

The “tech lifestyle” has gained popularity on social media, where influencers document their routines.

34. Do you actively work to increase your “engagement” on professional platforms?

Growing an audience on LinkedIn or Twitter is often seen as essential for career growth.

35. Do you follow “finfluencers” or productivity influencers who post financial tips?

Finance influencers are common on platforms like Instagram, where they share advice on building wealth in tech.

Section 7: Scores & Results

Now that you’ve gone through the test, it’s time to add up your score and see where you stand on the tech bro spectrum. Give yourself a point for each “Yes” answer, and see how tech bro you really are!

0-5 Points: The Non-Tech Bro

You’re in the tech world but aren’t overly influenced by the trends or lifestyle. You see tech as just a job rather than a calling or culture to immerse yourself in.

6-15 Points: The Balanced Tech Worker

You’re interested in tech culture but maintain a healthy distance from full-on tech bro status. You might have some productivity habits, but you avoid extreme lifestyle hacks.

16-25 Points: The True Tech Bro

You’re definitely part of the tech bro tribe. From productivity hacks to startup dreams, you embody a lot of the classic characteristics. You’ve embraced a lifestyle focused on efficiency, self-improvement, and tech-fueled optimism.

26-35 Points: The Hardcore Tech Bro

You’re a tech bro through and through. Whether it’s fasting, crypto, or relentless personal branding, you’ve fully bought into the tech bro lifestyle. At this point, your friends and colleagues likely associate you with every tech bro stereotype in the book.